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Wednesday, April 26, 2006

The 100 Worst Lyrics of All Time

The great independent weekly serving New England's major costal cities (Boston, Providence, & Portland), The Phoenix, has a hillarious piece out entitled The 100 worst lyrics of all time. While there's actually only a couple dozen on the list (it's a spoof on the VH1 specials), it includes a good number of doozies. For example:

LFO, “Summer Girls”
“New Kids On The block had a bunch of hits / Chinese food makes me sick/And I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer, for the summer.”
We would print out the whole song, but we threw up after rhyming “speakin’” with “Alex P. Keaton.”

Train “Drops of Jupiter”
“Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone conversation /The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me”
First we’re travelling in space all fine and dandy, then he starts name-dropping fads from the year 2000 as if it’s a VH1 special and he’s Hal Sparks. Soy Lattes? Tae Bo? Yes, Venus did blow our minds.

Bruce Springsteen, "Glory Days"
"He could throw that speed ball by you / make you look like a fool"
Bruce, we hate to bring this up, because we think you're great and everything, and it might sound a little nitpicky and all, but it's just that . . . um . . . well, a fastball is what Roger Clemens and Randy Johnson throw and a speedball is what John Belushi took to kill himself. Unless you were trying to make a prophetic comment about Doc Gooden's career, in which case you did a great job.

America, "A Horse With No Name"
"There were plants and birds and rocks and things"
What, did he get tired? Rocks and things?

Take a look and don't forget to vote for the worst.

Peter Cetera - Glory of Love.mp3 (via Earfarm)


  • At 10:06 AM, Anonymous casey said…

    Man. That fucking train song.


    I remember the first time I herd it. I said, "Tae-Bo? Way to instantly date yourself."

    And I'm not talking dinner and a movie.

  • At 4:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    oh man, peter cetera is precious! love that song! xoxo, KHMatthew

  • At 1:07 AM, Anonymous SailorAlphaCentauri said…

    Horse with No Name has more going wrong with it than just lazy descriptions, there's a triple-negative in the chorus.

    In the desert they can remember your name/for there aint no one for to give you no pain

    My 9th grade English teacher almost crashed his car the first time he heard that...[shudder]


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